Domestic Violence

They've recently begun screening a commercial on television here.

A married couple are sitting in their kitchen area, at a little table, having a meal. As they sit there in silence, eating, they hear sounds of a man and woman on the other side of the wall, having an almighty screaming match. This continues on till there is a THUD! on the wall, and everything against the wall on the married couple's side, shakes. The husband stands up, picks up a baseball bat and walks out the door.

He goes to the adjoining apartment and knocks on the door. The door opens and the husband says, "Here. I thought you could use this." An arm reaches out and takes the baseball bat, and closes the door. The screaming resumes.

Then the words come up on the screen and the voiceover says:

"If you do nothing, you may as well lend a hand."

This ad really drove the point home nicely. Unfortunately, this sort of thing goes on all day, every day, all over the world.

I spent five years taking the Police emergency calls (what Americans would call "911" calls). I have heard more domestics than I care to remember, and within days of beginning my job, I had already lost count of the number of cowardly males there are out there.

The most heartbreaking calls of all came from children. I'll never forget a call I received at around 3am one morning, from a sobbing child about nine years of age. He was so brave - and he was the perfect caller. He did everything I requested, told me everything I asked. I could hear his little voice shaking as he tried to stay calm and do everything right. He called because Mummy and Daddy had been fighting again, and Mummy was lying unconscious on the floor because Daddy had hit her over the head with a frying pan. He also had a baby sibling there. I had already actioned the call within moments of ascertaining why he'd phoned but it made me feel so helpless when, after doing everything he was asked, the police had not yet magically arrived. I had to explain to him that the police were still driving over there - but it was too much for his little brain to understand that just "doing what the grown-up tells you to" isn't an instant fix. I so badly wanted to sign off, get in my car and drive over and take those children out of there. He was clinging to me emotionally, in desperation, because I was his lifeline. At that moment, I was his only hope that he would get out of there and his Mummy and sister would be okay. And I felt I had let him down when the police weren't there within thirty seconds. It was truly heartwrenching.

It's not just the men, though. Women can be violent, too - but it seems to be less talked about. I took a call one night from a man who had disarmed his wife three times. He had taken the few seconds he could to phone for help. He wasn't looking when she came up and plunged yet another knife into him mid-convesation with me. I knew something was wrong when he fell silent. She was so quiet. Violence isn't always loud. And the perpetrator isn't alway big and hairy.

It's easy for an outsider to make comments like, "She doesn't leave, so she must like it." What a load of bullshit. Twice, now, I've stopped to help a woman who lives around the corner from my parents' house. She has three children under the age of five. The arsehole who is the father of her babies, has sold her car, cut her phone off, stolen her purse for her identification and ATM card, and leaves her without money while he goes off to stick his appendage into another woman. He beats the living daylights out of her (I've had to call her an ambulance on one of these occasions) and the last time I saw her, she had possible broken ribs, grass stains all over her clothes from where he'd dragged her along the lawn, and a lump the size of a tennis ball on her head from where he'd repeatedly bashed her head into the concrete. This woman is only twenty years old. She tried to leave, and this is what she got.

Until people start DOING something about violence rather than just saying, "Oh, isn't that sad?" men, women and especially children everywhere will continue to live in terror every day. Saying, "It's not my business" just doesn't cut it. It doesn't matter WHO an attacker is. They are an ATTACKER. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for not phoning the emergency number. It's a free call - even from a mobile phone in Australia. What if someone attacked YOUR mother or child or someone else you love? If you say you wouldn't want someone to help protect them, you're lying. "It's not my business" is a cowardly cop-out; an excuse used by weaklings who, should something happen to THEM one day, would be the very first to demand an explanation as to why no one stopped to render aid.

Think about it.

Hypocrisy

hy·poc·ri·sy
1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness.

Most people I know dislike being called a hypocrite - one who practices hypocrisy. This is because when someone says, "You hypocrite!" they're essentially saying, "You liar!" with few exceptions. In fact, the only instance I can think of where someone accused of, or committing, hypocrisy is NOT a liar, is where they acknowledge their flaw. I have a friend who hates it when people block their caller ID. He says he has a right to know who is phoning him. Yet he stubbornly defends his right to his own privacy and that he should be able to block his own number when phoning someone else - but he openly admits he's a hypocrite on this topic - so I can see no dishonesty here.

A hypocrite is a person who does not practice what s/he preaches. Who says they believe a certain way - but then fail to act that way. Personally speaking, I find that the most difficult hypocrites to stomach are the ones that deny their own double-standards.

If someone professes to follow a belief system where "right speech" is correct behaviour, but then fails to live up to that, that's hypocrisy. Just as someone who preaches, "Judge not!" and then condemns a person to hell. People who pass judgement or badmouth others but don't profess to follow a moral code prohibiting these behaviours are just being judgemental and badmouthing. It's not necessarily nice. It's not even admirable. But it is truly nauseating when those who advertise their belief system fail to follow it - yet accuse others of EXACTLY the same undesirable actions.

The only conclusion I can reach in my mind, is that those who exhibit such an undesirable trait are lying to themselves to make them feel better - or they are deliberately trying to bring their professed belief system into disrepute. Neither is a particularly decent thing... but both tell a lot about a person's character - or lack thereof.

To Yahoo Blog... or Not...

So here I am, trying to decide whether to use Yahoo 360º Blog, or this one. I like the look and feel of this Blogspot thing. But Yahoo's what I'm familiar with. On the other hand, I didn't really want strangers trying to add me to their Yahoo 360º and I hate rejecting people (but believe me, I'll still do it).

Guess I'll see how this goes. I'll play with it for a bit and decide.